Talk about marriages. It’s not the rom-com kind, in which love triumphs over all through a clichéd montage. It’s about marriages in real life, the beautifully chaotic ones https://connectionscs.com/marriage-and-family/. Marriage therapists can act as GPS resitters on a road trip.
You’re probably thinking what I am. Marriage therapy may sound like an attempt to save the marriage before you decide who will get custody of your dog and divide up the furniture. It’s not like that. Calling a mechanic is more like calling a car repairman before your wheels fall off. Imagine you and your partner rolling down the road of life. Potholes suddenly appear, whether it’s due to stress at work, tension leftover from Thanksgiving last year, or untidy shirts on the floor. You can be in perfect sync one day, and then the next it is like talking on a walkie talkie.
Imagine a marriage counselor as an experienced traveler. The therapist has been down this road many times and knows the best detours. The offer to make a pitstop and check on the emotional engine lights that have been flashing sporadic. This is like a toolkit for removing friction points and putting them back in logical order.
Jim and Lisa were arguing about the right way to fold their towels. (Hint: There are more than one). The towels weren’t the issue. The towels were not the issue. It was more about being heard, valued, and respected. The therapist provided a safe space for seemingly insignificant things to surface and reveal deeper truths.
It’s not all about giving out free advice. The therapist truly listens. Listens to you. The radios help people tune in to frequencies that they never knew existed. Have you ever tried tuning an old-fashioned radio? The scratchy sound between the two stations can be a sign of miscommunication. The dials are fine-tuned by therapy.
Another thing to note: Therapy doesn’t only resolve conflict. It can often turn on the awareness switch. Couples begin to see the positive things that were buried by a daily mountain of work. It was during an animated conversation that Alex discovered the hidden talent of his wife for doing cartoon voices. The laughter broke the tension and opened doors for shared happiness.
At the heart of communication is cooperation. It’s not just about the standard “How were you today?” but also meaningful conversations, particularly when there is a lot of stress. It’s hard to open, like opening an old pickle jar when you cannot find the gripper. Once the seal is broken, however, you’ll find it refreshing.
In therapy, expect the unexpected. The silence might be stretched to an uncomfortable limit, but then shattered with insight. Marriage therapists know how to use words and feelings that can be thrown around like Jenga pieces.
Relief doesn’t happen overnight. Imagine it more as a ballroom dancing lesson than an instant solution. Initially, you might have to step on your toes. But soon enough, you will glide with rhythm. You find unity with each step. The music is provided by therapists to assist in finding the flow of dances.
Humor is also important! The humor sneaks in unannounced and offers a break from the seriousness of some sessions. It can be helpful to laugh at the silly ways arguments began. You both dislike olives, but you keep ordering them. Sharing laughter can bridge gaps more than you realize.
They don’t have all the answers. The therapists don’t plan out the perfect route. They help couples to chart their own course together, and rediscover why they started this journey. Remember: It’s not just about avoiding the obstacles, but also embracing them together as part of your journey.